Before and after
A lot of work to improve something: there should be a basis of comparison of where things started. That reference point tells if we invested the time properly. When we know we've improved but the basis isn't clear, how do we reconcile effectiveness to ourselves? After all, aren't we all just trying to be effective?
Self-satisfaction is real for sure. It feels good to produce and to work. Productivity is not always required. Who tells themself that? People rely on me to make the move. I'm seeing that. Also, I'm looking for approval still. The chick says, "I like that," and then I'm inclined to like that too.
Whose Choice Is This, Really?
Perhaps I'll run the numbers, look at the alternative, fold it mentally into my discoveries, and then maybe even require that it must have been my choice. Or perhaps I'm only to see that it was my choice planted by another. What I have is good enough. Who is to say I cannot? No person has agency over me. When do I stop the sunk cost exercise and pull out of the market? People and feelings over what I know to be true. Make less. That's the goal. Ask the experts. Do I know everything that is involved? Should someone else be in charge? Call the drywall guy. Don't let stuff stack up. A this, a that, and other over there. It is a pile. Don't support what I don't believe.
New Season, New Moves
Saturday I run the Donna 5k. The suggestion was put in my mind by a nice woman. I'm not going to say she's not attractive. She is intriguing to be sure. I'm not trying to impress, but I didn't think I'd be doing this had she not encouraged me to do so, and so it goes. I have a lot of time and space to expand into this. Camp, fish, explore, it is all at my fingertips. Time to just go.
After four years of working on shedding barriers, this isn't overthinking or stepping. What influences me and when do I follow through? Ramsey has gotten me here (actually it's me, JT, Marc, and a lot of other players, but still). Now we are stable by a good margin. What or who now? Not to coast from a financial standpoint, but that is no longer an excuse or reason to say no to opportunity. Can I coach? Steve Cail asks me to jump in; he all but cried, "I need help."
Where Do I Go From Here?
Church - All in, or is that just the press release to be liked?
Rotary - I'm getting tired. I'm asking for a friend.
Relationships - Good friends are important, but how much do we hang on that one?
60, 65, 70, 75, 80, 85, 90+
Who takes care of me and when do I start to make that a concern? Who is my Benna?
Creative Identity
Writing/creative retreat? Am I a fiction or nonfiction? I consider myself a creative person, but does my definition ring true? Polymath or perhaps a talent explorer, seeing ideas to their end but exiting if there's a probability of putting it into action. Pen on paper feels good.
Creativity isn't always pen or paint on paper. It is about solving a problem in a way that somebody else might not.
One thing to let go of: The idea that I am restricted in who I relate to.
One thing to be grateful for: Friends that check up on me even for frivolous things.
One thing to better myself: Productivity, and I mean personal, tools to move forward in all respects of my ecosystem.
