Why I Stopped Listening to the Loudest Voice in the Room

In a relatively exclusive Country Club near you......

Signing Up

A few months ago the club schedule was promulgated with the various tournaments, events, fund raisers and such published. A dutiful practitioner of Life Hacker and Getting Things Done, I blocked my calendar and made a note to my colleagues of my schedule to forward my pace in the year.

The Men's Championship was the one and only free tournament offered throughout the year. Now the old guard will say it was once "The Tournament," when nearly a hundred men showed up to demonstrate their skills. They will say now that the tournament is so mismanaged that, "no wonder there are only 24 people this year."

Playing Out of My Depth

It's 2022 and the Men's Championship came up on the schedule, and as I stated, I was scheduled as such. Normally, I play from Whites (the closest T-box positions without being a senior) and have been trying hard to improve my game. This tournament was different in that all members must play from Blue or Black, which were farther from the green than I had ever played. Effectively, the course that I played over 50 times was like a brand new course to me given my new placement. No worries, and I'm not making an excuse for the rest of the story, but two weeks prior to that date, I had foot surgery.

Had you read anything I've ever posted, you'd know that I am not competitive, but I try my best. And I try to have a good time, no matter what.

Of 31 competitors that signed up, (I understand) 4 resigned at the last minute (I hear there was a Happy Hour that went way too long on Friday night thanks to an MGA member) and 3 simply failed to show.

Two Rounds, Dead Last

I was there Saturday morning. On time. Ready to be outside.

Day 1, I was dead last, by a large margin. Simply stated, my golf game was barely a game at all. But I had fun and met a few new people. I felt my goal had been met, so I left the course happy at my good shots.

Day 2, I was so much worse. By hole 12, I needed to remove my shoe as the swelling on my foot became too much to bear. By hole 14, I removed my sock and played with a bare right foot. But I had fun and met a few new people. Again, goal met by meeting a few folks and spending Sunday outside.

As bad as it was, there were times where I hit a better drive, a better approach, a better bunker shot, or better putt than my threesome team members had done. Not every shot of mine was crap...

At the end of the rounds... I was dead last by an enormous margin. There can only be one winner....

But!!!! I did not slow the pace of the game either day. I did not whine about a missed putt, a misdirected fairway shot, a lost ball, or some area of grass in repair. I made no excuses. I was outside to meet a few people, hit some golf balls, and I learned something from good players. There was something else....

What I Heard in the Clubhouse

What I also learned was that many of these players are detractors of the Country Club and simply took away the essence of community and the inclusion of golf as a whole. It made me sad.

Upon tournament closure in the side of the dining room, there was a slight celebration of the winner and his hole-in-one. The wine was fantastic, and some of the stories were a little bit exaggerated, as men do. So it was fun for a while. Enjoying wine in the dining room, I simply listened. But what I heard among the "seasoned" golfers, the long-term members of the club, was nothing less than disgusting and hateful. Their commentary after the tournament about the management of the course was sad.

Without detail, I will say this.... If there is a single detractor of future membership and health of the Country Club, that detractor is anchored in the current MGA and some of its seasoned members.

The Real Barrier

The Men's Golf Association (MGA) is the biggest barrier to the future success of the club. I heard negative remarks against the leadership and every level of employee, from the senior members down to the prep cooks. I then saw these same members extoll virtues on those same leaders when coming face to face within minutes. I will not be a part of their social network. I will make my own and be better for it. But I will also recommend newcomers find another golf or social group if at all possible.

The loudest voices that propose a future vision of the club should not belong to the jaded and divisionist voices of the men (members) of 30 years past. I wonder if some of these people will live, or be able to play, in 5 years. Instead, the loudest voices that the leadership must hear are of those that will carry the club into the next two decades: people like me, who like to play just for the sake of getting outside in a beautiful place with nice staff members. No member of the team is perfect, but I see that staff are doing the best with what they have.

Those men, who have been members for decades and don't have a nice word to say, are repellent to people who are looking to establish their foundation in the next twenty years. I am not naive such that I don't believe this is the culture at other clubs around the area. But, my experience is purely mine.

One Member to Leadership

I'm not sure what I wanted to come of this op-ed, but I felt that I needed it to be clearly stated. One member to leadership...

I appreciate you and what you are doing. The detractors may have the loudest voice. I am choosing not to listen.

TY