One Last Thing To Do

The Open Tab

I was thinking about something, and I think I've stumbled onto something for myself.

It's about the final nail in the final step. The final period on the communication. The last couple of touch-ups of paint. The end of the process that signifies, "I'm done." Hitting send.

Through a conversation with one of my employees, I realized that I operate like open tabs in a web browser, or an unsent email. If the tabs are still open, there is still something to do or read, something else to add — I'll get to it later. There's no finality from which another action is required, but there is some satisfaction or sense of progress in opening another tab or job or project or assignment. The significance is busy over effective.

The Assignment With No Due Date

Imagine a class assignment without a due date. How long does it take you to finish it? This assignment won't be graded either. How much effort do you put into it? What is your time and effort budget to get this done?

An assignment with no due date is never turned in, which means we never get the grade. There is never an account of the quality of the product. Never turned in means you never have to reconcile someone's opinion of your effort. This is especially detrimental to approval seekers.

The Defense That's Always Available

Looking around my life, I'm seeing a lot of instances where I simply haven't completed. On some level, I believe that taking the final step is opening myself to criticism or judgment.

When I complete the process, then I must accept whether it was a good idea or a bad idea, a good decision or a bad decision, a skilled process or a hack.

Hitting send or sinking that last nail scares the shit out of me. It's because once that final thing is done, I get the grade — or the judgment.

A project that's a work in progress for a year always has the backup story. Of course it isn't as good as it should be — IT'S NOT DONE! No matter what you say, I have a defense that is correct 100% of the time.

The Questions Worth Sitting With

• How would I be in the world if I did not fear judgment?

• What is the discomfort in your own life that you attribute to its incompleteness?