After the Talk
Before my Rotary meeting a while back, a handful of people walked up to tell me my presidential talk had stuck with them. One man said it was authentic, that it showed who I actually am. I'll be honest about what that did to me. Being approached and appreciated is the real dopamine hit. I like it, and I'm not going to pretend otherwise.
The day kept going. I had lunch with a man I find interesting, and somewhere in the conversation I realized he wrestles with an anxious mind a lot like mine. He told me he has never met anyone who sees the operations and people side of a business so clearly. Then a woman from another circle of friends called. She had guilt from her past that she needed to say out loud to someone, and she chose me.
Why They Come to Me
None of this is about patting myself on the back. But I can't ignore the pattern. People bring me what they are carrying, whether it is a speech that moved them, a business that is straining under them, or something from years ago they have never told anyone. I listen a long time before I judge. That is what actually energizes me. Not the applause. The listening.
It is also the best description I have of how I consult. Before I have an opinion about your operation, I want to understand your people, your pressure, and what you are really trying to build. The clarity comes from listening first.
Whose Work Is It?
Here is the tension I have to be honest about. A lot of what I say to friends is borrowed. I pass along other people's one-liners, ideas I picked up from someone who said it better. So part of me wonders whether I am being appreciated for work that belongs to somebody else.
Maybe that is the point. The owner who built the company, the operator running the floor, the team showing up every morning: that work is their mission. It is not mine. My job is to help them see it clearly, connect the pieces, and then get out of the way. If I think differently, the gift is in the seeing, not in owning what I see.
Work Is Not Here for You
So here is the line I keep coming back to. Work is not here for you. You are here for the work. Do not confuse the two.
When work is here for you, you chase the title, the credit, and the next hit of approval. When you are here for the work, you serve the mission in front of you and let the results speak. One leaves you hungry. The other leaves you useful.
I want to be a member, but more than that, I want to lead. Leading, as I understand it now, is not being the one who gets appreciated. It is being the one who makes the work possible for everyone else.
Grace for the Rest
As for how I measure myself, I will leave the judging to the One who made us for his glory. He gives grace when we need it, and I will take it.
If you are an owner carrying a business and want someone to listen first, I would like to hear what you are building.
